The shit hit the fan. 

Well today the proverbial shit well and truly hit the fan. A week or so ago I’d waited 15 mins for a bus 3 pushchairs got on before me one of which had a 3/4 year old able to walk in a stroller. It would have been nice given that I’d waited a long time and my 2 year old who is unable to walk was asleep to be let on my one of them folding a pushchair down. They didn’t so I had to phone for a taxi. I was already pissed off but then the driver that turned up put the taxi meter on before he got out of the car. Before I got in or even loaded my pushchair in. My son had just woken up he was still sleepy in my arms. I’d been charged by a so called family member to put my buggy in the boot. 

I told the guy who owns the company I was not impressed I was not happy. Well today I go to my sisters and ask for a taxi into town for 10:45, it turns up at 10:50 and it’s the same driver (the “family” member) that previously over charged me the week before. I needed the cab so I was gonna get in and say nothing. I left the house to go to the taxi and he tried to drive away I try opening the door. He gets out and says no I don’t want you in because of last week. I said fine I’ll walk. I rang up the firm again and says right I need another taxi and fast because he refused to take me. 

Then I ranted on Facebook like we all do. That’s when the shit hit the fan. My grandad having a go, my “auntie” (the drivers wife) having a go. All telling me I’m lying etc I was to get my facts straight. I had my say and I wasn’t backing down. The conversation ended with my grandad telling me not to go to his house again. Me saying fine by me. I was angry how dare they treat me like that. It’s no loss of mine and I have no intention of crying any tears over it. They are not people I want my children growing up around. 

World Heart Day

Some Bonds Cannot Be Understood ❤️
Some bonds cannot be understood…

Unless you have walked them before… 

A path that I would not have chosen… 

A future I just can’t ignore.
We’ve all watched our children intently… 

Memorizing each line… 

And let them leave our loving arms… 

And prayed things would be fine. 
We’ve paced the halls awaiting news… 

And wondered just what lie in store… 

We’ve felt our own heart’s racing as… 

We walked through an PICU door.
We’ve seen the child we love so much… 

Struggling to overcome… 

The lines…the cords….the monitors… 

No thoughts…no words…would come… 
We’ve prayed for an improvement… 

We’ve laid it in God’s hands.. 

We’ve cried…we’ve hoped…we’ve worried… 

We’ve wondered of God’s plans. 
We’ve learned just how a heart works… 

Each valve and artery… 

We’ve asked alot of questions… 

We’ve faced each surgery. 
And somewhere down this well worn path… 

We’ve met more families… 

Who know exactly what it means… 

To live with this disease. 
We’ve smiled at every triumph… 

And shared in every sigh… 

We’ve prayed for a child that struggles… 

And each family that must say goodbye. 
Some battles are fought with bullets… 

And weapons made for war… 

While these are fought in silence… 

Behind a hospital door.
We’ve wondered what lies in our future… 

We’ve been thankful for just one more day… 

We’ve stopped and watched with tear-filled eyes… 

Our children…as they play. 
We’ve struggled with ounces and weight gain…

Why won’t my child just eat? 

But heart parents …we’re a tough group… 

We’ve learned how to face a defeat. 
We’ve faced those moments…others do… 

When life has got us stressed… 

But it doesn’t take long to remember… 

That we are richly blessed. 
We’ve taken on a whole new role… 

One we wouldn’t exchange if we could… 

We know that life is difficult… 

We hold onto all that is good. 
God chose each of us carefully… 

I do believe he smiled… 

Some bonds begin with strangers… 

And each very special child ❤️

Adventure land 

I was pretty low last night dreading a day out we had planned with home start. I thought that it was going to be such an awful day but I was proved wrong. My eldest got to sit with his friend S on the coach which is my friend V’s daughter. They chatted away and he was content. Brilliant start I was so pleased. We got to our destination and for a second I thought it was going to kick off, but it didn’t he loved the rides and got excited and wanted to go on more. I felt sick with anxiety all morning waiting for the meltdown. It didn’t happen. He got a little bit restless towards lunch time so we had lunch break and then went back to it.

Honestly I really enjoyed it and so did my boys and friends kids, I got to act like a kid myself and have fun in pedal cars and going on rides and going down slides. I was so proud of how my eldest handled things he had one meltdown all day mainly because there was a long queue for a ride he wanted to go a second time and it was noisy and busy. I can’t blame him for that. I dreaded today but I’m pleased he proved me wrong. 

I’m pleased I had V with me today to walk around with our two eldest children have known each other since babies and my eldest reckons he’s gonna marry S bless him. Having V and her children with us made it easier for me. I’m not sure I could take both children out on my own but we’ll see what happens with the next few trips etc.