Today starts my extremely busy week with various different appointments with various different people involved in my youngest son’s care.
We had his physiotherapist come today to see how he’s doing and I’ve got a lot of work to do in the next week to encourage him to start cruising around the furniture. I showed her the few steps he took unaided with his walker but he’s not done it since. Because he fell there’s a chance it’s knocked his conifidence a bit so I’m going to have to try building it back up.
Tomorrow I have our health visitor coming to see us for a support visit. Now I’m not getting the supoort I was getting from my supoort worker I’m finding it hard. I was kind of relying on her to share something with her that I couldn’t say myself but now I either have to do it myself or say nothing at all. Have you ever had a secret that consumes you? Something awful that’s so hard to talk about? And then having that secret for pretty much half of my life and not having the courage to talk about it to just anyone? I have had the support from the outsider charity LRC but it’s coming to an end in like 2 weeks. I honestly don’t know what to do and I only have til tomorrow to decide.
Wednesday I have a lady from the Sen academy she works for our county council and she comes to help with a child with additional needs development and it’s the first time I’m meeting her. So feeling kind of nervous and I have to probably go into his medical history etc unless our health visitor has done that.
Thursday we have a speech and language telephone assessment so I’m hoping my mini monsters will be quiet long enough to take the call and let me speak.
All this and anxiety is raising with each day. God I need a miracle.
As much as I love Christmas I’m glad it’s all over. Normality is just beginning to come back. My husband went back to work today and it was just me and the boys.
Even though I slept terribly last night I thought today went well. Took my msejf and the oldest boy for our hair cut and it’s something that he doesn’t particularly enjoy. He doesn’t like sitting still and doesn’t like the mini clippers that use around the hairline. He did well actually and treated him to a cake after.
I handled today on my own really well I thought I would struggle with tiredness and anxiety but I didn’t. My friend L came up to see us and the oldest played really well her older 2 children. Quite pleasantly surprised.
I have one more day at home with both boys then my eldest goes back to school on Thursday. My friend V is coming up to get her hair done and after that I’m going to wash my hair and top up the bright pink colour I did last week so it stays nice and bright. I am looking forward to Thursday but also anxious about going back to open door sessions at HS. I know I won’t have someone to talk things through with which is going to be hard and I know my anxiety will build. I just can’t start to confide in someone else because she’s not discreet and that’s no good to me. I’m a private person I don’t want people knowing my issues in the group.
So all that to consider I don’t know what I’m going to do it’s going to be tough. I actually inboxed a distant friend who is a very religious person and has a strong Christian faith. I have so many unanswered questions that I’ve considered going to church to see if I can find some answers. She’s meeting me next week and she’s going to introduce me to the minister. I’ve always been sceptical of religion but I’m intrigued by it now. I’m more a spiritual believer then religious believer.
Anyway that’s my rambling over for tonight.