Not sorry

Going back a few posts I mentioned awhile ago I’d made a new friend. She went to the same open door sessions I went to. Many times she came in went into the office and came out in tears. I felt for her she looked like she was having it rough. I reached out to her. Mentally I was in an ok place I needed something to keep my mind busy and reaching out to this person did that. I invited her out for lunch with my and the ladies. I paid she said she had no money I wanted to do something to help. 

We got quite friendly i wouldn’t ever say close but friendly. She’s a nice girl but she has had a lot of issues and trauma in the past. She’s not the only one. There was something about her that kept saying to me she needed someone to talk to. I quickly became that person. I didn’t mind at first but the more drama that happened around her the more difficult it became. Last weekend she had yet more drama police she social services turning up at her door (not for the first time)

It was then I confided in a very close friend that it was becoming too much. Too over bearing. She called 10 times a day, messaged me in between. I have 2 children I don’t have time for this. So wether I was in the wrong or not I backed off. Maybe I should have spoken to her. I didn’t ignore her but I distanced myself. It was the start of the 6 weeks holidays and my children had to come first. I had to distance myself for the sake of my children and my mental health. For that I’m not going to apologise. 

However it seemed that me saying I’d been busy didn’t go down too well and she majorly kicked off. I took screen shots of all the conversations so nothing I said could be twisted. Well she decided that everything I said she would twist for attention. I realise now she’s probably done this many times before. She has a mental illness, I presume her mental illness combined with her past makes her thrive off the attention people give her. “I said her daughter deserves to be in care” “I threatened to phone social services up so her child would be taken away” all of it being bullshit. 

It hurt that she was slagging me off calling me fake. Didn’t even have the balls to admit it was aimed at me. She denied it. I didn’t have to but I chose to help her. I chose to introduce her to my children and her to be in my life. I asked her to watch what she said around my autistic son he copied her and his behaviour changed as soon as she came to my house. I’m telling him off for kicking her and hitting her when he sees her kicking me, I don’t care that she was “having a laugh” he copies her he gets a bollocking how is that fair? She’s not an example to be set to my son. I don’t want my children surrounded by people who bring drama into my life. I need to be around people who understand my children and their needs. 

I have nothing more to do with her now. At first I felt like it was me. I’ve had a fair few people fall out with me recently. No longer will I be the silent one and hold back on what I think. I will say what I think needs to be said. I need to stay strong and be pleased that I’m putting my children first. Not other people and their selfishness and drama. I’m sad I lost a friend but she was sucking life out of me. I feel for her daughter and what kind of life she will have, I fear for the the unborn child being put on a child protection plan. I wish her well in her future I just can’t be part of it. 

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Author: always over thinking things

I'm 32 years old,married and I'm a full time mum to 2 boys. My eldest is 5 and the youngest is a year old. My eldest boy is on the autistic spectrum and my youngest has a congenital heart defect called tetralogy of fallot. My blog is about my children, about me and my way of dealing with the life I've been given. It's a way of expressing my emotions and feelings through words. This is done anonymously as I want to keep myself away from people who don't know what's happening in my life.

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