Been a while

I’ve been neglecting my blog for a while. It was my source of needing to get out what was rattling around in my head through bad times. 

So what’s new?…. 

I have been completely off meds cold turkey for 3 weeks now. 90% of the time I’m fine. The other 10% is catching up. I had a moment on Wednesday where I had a rough day. When it comes to my heart babies health i am always going to be anxious. It was the uncertainty of not knowing if he had chicken pox or not. Turns out he does. Once I knew I eased off a bit. I kept my eye on him and it turns out just as testament to his strength he was too poorly with him. He had them pretty midly (thank god)

Tuesday last week I had a meeting with all professionals involved with my youngest. It went brilliantly. It was all so positive and everything Is going so well with him. Everyone recognising my hard work and how well I’m now. Felt good. 

I celebrated my 4th wedding anniversary we went out for a meal at a local restaurant. 

The toddler group my youngest goes to that have been so fantastic and supportive are closing down in July. I am gutted and now searching for a nursery. I put his name down for one near the centre of town. There was total miscommunication now I’m put off and looking elsewhere. 

The cardiologist referred my youngest to a genetics clinic back in April the call came today and I had to go through everything again right from the start. It got to me by the end of the call I was in tears. I’ve had a shit day I’m tired, stressed and emotional. Off meds 3 weeks and already wondering if I’m being tested on my strength. My life hasn’t been my own for 2 years. Constantly chasing appointments, making calls, going to hospitals. The list never ends. Today I give up I’ve had enough. 

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Author: always over thinking things

I'm 32 years old,married and I'm a full time mum to 2 boys. My eldest is 5 and the youngest is a year old. My eldest boy is on the autistic spectrum and my youngest has a congenital heart defect called tetralogy of fallot. My blog is about my children, about me and my way of dealing with the life I've been given. It's a way of expressing my emotions and feelings through words. This is done anonymously as I want to keep myself away from people who don't know what's happening in my life.

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