Not your typical depressed person 

I’m quite honest on my blog about me having depression and anxiety. This blog helps me get the stuff I need to get said out of my head which is one of the Bain reasons I started blogging. There’s a certain stigma attached to depression that everyone gets tarred with the same brush. Well I say it’s bullshit. 

So many people think people depression don’t wash or don’t take care of themselves well that’s wrong. I have a bath or shower if not every day at least every other day. My hair is always clean and well presented. I do my make up every day and I dress decently everyday. I wash my clothes and change them every day. 

People with depression spend days in bed, while maybe some people do I don’t. I get up and out of bed every morning, I soft my kids clothes out then sort myself out. Getting dressed in the outfit I planned a day or two before. I do my hair then put my face on. 

That every depressed person wants to commit suicide or self harms. Again yes many people with depression do self harm and have attempted suicide. But not every person with depression has thought about it or wants to do it. I went for counselling last year and I was asked series of questions about my mental health. One of them was have you ever thought about or harmed yourself ? I replied no instantly I was asked why. Why haven’t I self harmed or thought about it? I’m depressed so I must have done. Then I was asked wether or not I’d tried to or thought about killing myself. I replied no. Truthfully I have never thought about ending my life. Again I was asked why. What’s stopping me from ending my life? I said I’ve never even thought about it I don’t want to end my life. Why? I was asked again in disbelief. Because I have 2 children that need me and I don’t want to end my life. There are people out there who genuinely feel like there’s no other way out of their illness I’m not one of them. But the people who have tried and luckily failed don’t get the help they need. 

I am depressed and I have anxiety and there’s a real possibility that I also have 2 forms of ptsd. From 2 totally different in related evevts in my life. I am insecure, I am in no way a confident person. I wear make up every day to put on a pretence to the outside world that I’m fine so they don’t see me for who I am. I am broken. I have a mental illness. I hate how I look so I’m constantly changing something about me to throw people off the scent. I keep my mental illness private I don’t tell the world my business. Not many people know the real me. If you do you count yourself lucky cause I don’t show many people who I really am. 


Author: always over thinking things

I'm 33 years old,married and I'm a full time mum to 2 boys. My eldest is 6 and the youngest is a year old. My eldest boy is on the autistic spectrum and my youngest is 2 and has a congenital heart defect called tetralogy of fallot. My blog is about my children, about me and my way of dealing with the life I've been given. It's a way of expressing my emotions and feelings through words. This is done anonymously as I want to keep myself away from people who don't know what's happening in my life.

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