I’m trying to think of the best bits of 2016 so I try my hardest so start the new year in a positive frame of mind.
I look back and my mind goes straight to the awful moments of the year. Firstly I expected that I wouldn’t still be fighting off depression and anxiety. Things became worse for me when I opened up a can of worms confiding in someone about something that happened 15 years ago. I thought once I said it and got it out there I’d feel like a weight had been lifted. Temporarily it did, I felt free of it like the secret I’d been keeping locked away had freed me from it. But when march came and I’d found out someone had moved back into my town it went seriously downhill and caused more anxiety then I already had. I had to let other people in on this secret. It’s been pretty hard letting people in on this secret and talking about it and getting support to deal with it.
The only plus side is the support I have had has been amazing. My friend V has been at the end of every message or video call when I’ve been in tears. We really properly became close again this year. Closer then ever before and she’s classed as my little sister. This girl is a warrior princess or something. Despite her own issues she is there when anyone needs her. Everyone needs a friend like her in their lives.
This year my youngest boy celebrated his first birthday and his heart Anniversary. My eldest turned 5 and settled into his new class really well and has achieved so many things in school and home.
I usually make ridiculous New Years resolutions that I never keep. All I want for next year is my children to continue to progress in their own unique ways and hope that this time next year I’m in a much better place with my mental health. I want to free from my demons in 2017.