I want and need to talk 

I’ve got to a point in my life where things that stayed buried within me for so long have come out. I’ve also got to the point where now it’s out and I’ve been talking about it I feel the need to keep that going as part of the healing process and moving on from it. The only problem I have is the therapy I was referred to was too intense and I have no-one I can talk to about it all. I have contacted the people that referred me in a hope that I can speak to them but I’m so sick of chasing them up. I know I look and sound desperate but that’s the thing I kind of am. 

One of my closest friends is moving close by to someone I can’t be near and I want to be able to spend time in her new home without feeling afraid or panicked. I really want to move on because it’s holding me back. Maybe I was too haste to cancel therapy. I wanna be free of my past and enjoy my future, I can’t do that until I’m free of what casts a shadow over me. I don’t at the minute have anyone to talk to about it it’s all still stuck inside eating away at me I can’t do it I can’t let it ruin me. 

What do I do? I need some guidance, I need someone to point me in the right direction. I need someone i can talk to but  who? I can’t keep crying over my past I need to accept it and I need to move on. 

I’ve lost my way and I’m struggling to find a way back. I’m controlling my depression but my anxiety still lurks there waiting to come out. I feel like I’m the scared 17 year old again.  


Author: always over thinking things

I'm 33 years old,married and I'm a full time mum to 2 boys. My eldest is 6 and the youngest is a year old. My eldest boy is on the autistic spectrum and my youngest is 2 and has a congenital heart defect called tetralogy of fallot. My blog is about my children, about me and my way of dealing with the life I've been given. It's a way of expressing my emotions and feelings through words. This is done anonymously as I want to keep myself away from people who don't know what's happening in my life.

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