Using humour 

I’ve been hiding behind funny posts and cheerful status updates to hide how I’m actually feeling. I’m already nervous for my “proper” counselling session next week. A trauma counseller with a specialist area. I’m tearful when I’m alone and I can’t help it. I’ve been watching, sharing and commenting on funny posts and videos on social networking sites. 

I’ve only ever left my boys and gone out of town once before that was a family members funeral last year that’s nother thing thing playing on my mind. 

I don’t know if I’m relying on people too much for support or If I’m getting it right or wether I should be doing it on my own. I just second guess everything and over think everything and think the worst of every situation. It’s been a pretty tough year and a bit. I sometimes wonder how I’m  still going, how I’ve not given up and run away despite wanting to several times. I’m disappointed in myself, I’m letting myself down and I don’t know what I’m doing. I need to get through this but I can’t do it alone I’m scared to do it alone but maybe I need to grow up grow a pair and get on with it?! 


Author: always over thinking things

I'm 33 years old,married and I'm a full time mum to 2 boys. My eldest is 6 and the youngest is a year old. My eldest boy is on the autistic spectrum and my youngest is 2 and has a congenital heart defect called tetralogy of fallot. My blog is about my children, about me and my way of dealing with the life I've been given. It's a way of expressing my emotions and feelings through words. This is done anonymously as I want to keep myself away from people who don't know what's happening in my life.

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