Suriving the holidays 

3 days into the Sumer holidays with both my children at home. It’s incredibly exhausting. 

I’m on my own 9 and a half hours alone with them. When plans change my eldest doesn’t know how to cope. Various meltdowns on Wednesday nothing I did was good enough, nothing seemed to please him or make him happy. The 5:30am start didn’t help either. 

Thursday was a much better day he woke up at a decent time and generally seemed happier, he wanted my friend L and her children to come up to his house and play instead of us going there and he played really well. 

I’m kind of looking forward to a few days away with my in laws but also dreading it. I know what my eldest son can be like at home let alone in a place where he has no home comforts. No where that’s his space. It’s going to be difficult plus my husband has to work so he’s not coming with us so I kind of resent that he will have loads of time to himself and I’m with the kids all day with no break. I don’t think he realises how much hard work it is. He spends like an hour in the evening with them and than that’s it it’s bedtime routine and they are alseep. I love my kids but it’s exhausting having to do the same thing all time. 

My youngest loves little mix he’s 15 months old and he wants me to put music videos on YouTube for him to watch. He actually sits there very quietly and watches them but he only likes 2/3 songs so they are on constant repeat. My eldest is always saying something inapprioate. If someone winds him up he lashes out and goes to hit that child thats annoying him. I have to say I the same thing to him all the time and hear the same sentence. over n over again. 

I get very little adult interaction all day, I don’t get chance to sit and eat with hearing “mamma or mummy” or crying and moaning from each child, I leave the room and it’s like I left the country for 3 days. I really need my husband to their of someone other then himself  for once and actually spend more time with the boys instead of washing up at 6:30 every evening. It can wait till they are in bed they need your attention not the washing up.

I need him to understand how hard it is and how sometimes he makes it worse instead of helping me and making things easier. I can’t wait to go and come back from my days away and hopefully he will help more if not I’ll be having words.

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Author: always over thinking things

I'm 33 years old,married and I'm a full time mum to 2 boys. My eldest is 6 and the youngest is a year old. My eldest boy is on the autistic spectrum and my youngest is 2 and has a congenital heart defect called tetralogy of fallot. My blog is about my children, about me and my way of dealing with the life I've been given. It's a way of expressing my emotions and feelings through words. This is done anonymously as I want to keep myself away from people who don't know what's happening in my life.

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