I don’t open up to many people so if you know me and you read this blog I means i trust you. That’s big for me I don’t trust people easily I don’t let people in. I’m afraid of the rejection and people knowing what goes on behind my fake smile and made up face.
I’m incredibly grateful to the people I have in my life. Blood family being the exception to that hence why they don’t know anything about my blog and what I write. I need to stop worrying and caring what they think about me even though it’s hard and I just want to feel like I’m not an outsider looking in. My family are my friends the ones I truly care about and the ones I enjoy spending time with. My friends are the ones i’d trust with my life and darkest secrets. My friends are the ones that help me and tell me what I need to hear. They encourage me to be stronger, they encourage me to keep fighting when I feel like giving up. The support workers, health visitor and any other professionals involved will probably never know how much they have done or how much they still do for me. I’ll be forever grateful to everyone who has helped me or still helping now.
I have no confidence I don’t know why people choose to be my friend or what I’ve done to deserve such wonderful kind helpful friends. These people are my life and I can’t imagine not having them in my life now. Wether it’s been 16 years, 7 years with a blip or 6 months. You people are my life, if you need me day or night I am there. I’ll be there through good times and bad, when you need to laugh or need to cry. If you need somehow to help you bury a body I’m there (lol hopefully this won’t happen). I am there though happiness and sadness and don’t ever think you can’t talk to me about stuff. I might be a crazy ass depressed bitch but I have a good heart. I trust them, I love them with out them and my children I’m nothing.