My instinct

I’ve always said I can’t always trust my instincts when it comes to my youngest son. I always second guess if there’s something wrong with him. I hate thinking I’m wasting the Drs time when appointments aren’t easy to get. I knew in the back of my mind there was something wrong with my boy. He was pulling both ears. Coughing and had a high temperature and he was off his food. I knew this wasn’t just teething. I put off thinking about it all day Sunday. After such a terrible nights sleep with him and him being so hot I wasn’t going to put it off any longer. I can’t take any chances with him if he has an infection he needs seeing straight away. I still wasn’t sure what exactly was wrong but something was. 

I phoned NHS 111 and had a a telephone assessment. Explained what was wrong and his heart defect that had been repaired. They said call back within 2 hours,. 45 mins later they agree that he needs to be seen. So a trip to the nearest out for hours it was for us. We decided to make a day of it with us going 20 miles out that way. 

I got to the NHS out of hours and the go introduced himself and I explain the symptoms. He asked me if he is cutting teeth and how many children I have. That pissed me off I’m not an overbearing mother that takes her kids to the Drs over nothing especially if I’m traveling by train from my town. 

So I decide to stay polite and say yes he’s cutting teeth and I have 2 children him being my youngest. I knew what this bloke was thinking “he’s teething nothing wrong” “she’s attention seeking” he goes through checking him. Temperature 37.7, ears inflamed, throat inflamed, chest clear. Looked at the scar down his chest and said “oh he’s had an operation” yes he bloody well has. So no I’m not an over paranoid mother and no I’m not an attention seeker and no I’m not making it up. For one my instinct was right despite being made to feel like I was being dramatic. Ear infection in both ears and a throat infection  not teething pain. 

Imagine if you were in my shoes giving birth to a healthy first baby then your second child having a heart defect. Imagine the stress, imagine the worry. Imagine thinking when your baby has surgery that you won’t ever see him again. Imagine kissing him goodbye not knowing if he will wake up from his operation. Well imagine that then you can get a feel,of what I lived through. I envy people with healthy babies, I envy the fact that these people, with healthy babies don’t have to worry about infections and cardiologists. I envy that these peoples babies are walking and crawling  and my baby at 13 nearly 14 months isn’t crawling and needs physio. Enjoy your healthy babies and don’t take anything for granted. 

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Author: always over thinking things

I'm 33 years old,married and I'm a full time mum to 2 boys. My eldest is 6 and the youngest is a year old. My eldest boy is on the autistic spectrum and my youngest is 2 and has a congenital heart defect called tetralogy of fallot. My blog is about my children, about me and my way of dealing with the life I've been given. It's a way of expressing my emotions and feelings through words. This is done anonymously as I want to keep myself away from people who don't know what's happening in my life.

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