Ive been thinking about forgiveness, I read somewhere that if you can’t forgive someone for their mistakes you will never be able to move on or move forward. What if someone’s mistake caused and still does so much pain and heartache? What if their mistake ruined your life and changed who you are.
I can’t forgive and I can’t forget about what happened and I will never forgive or forget either. No matter how much counselling I have or how I get my life back I will never forgive because to me that means it wasn’t ever that important or that it had no effect on my life. One day maybe I’ll be able to talk about it without crying, without feeling like it was it all my fault. That’s how it makes you feel, you question everything. Over think everything and play memories back in your head like your watching tv.
I moved on in my own way once before burying things so deep inside my mind they didn’t resurface for years. I will get my life back again and I won’t live in fear or in the shadows of my mistakes. Some mistakes can be forgiven others cannot. I didn’t get help when I needed it back then but I’ve got the help I need now and i will use it. I’ll need to. I want to move past all that’s bad and have a bright future. I want to lay all the demons and ghosts to rest somthey can no longer haunt me. I will get through this, I need to get through this. I need to get over this major low point, get my life back and kick this depressions arse.