I tried very hard today not to let someone’s comments about my parenting bother me but it upset me and the person saying this things only knows me in a baby group setting and by the information I share with her which isn’t a lot. These people hardly know me but still choose to make comments possibly without thinking how it can affect the person they say it too.
I’ve overcome much worse in my life but I’ve had enough going on without people making out I’m a bad parent. I try my hardest every single day to be the best mum I possibly can to my children and some days it’s easier then others. I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be perfect but I believe I’m a good mum. I put my children first in every decision I make every day. With everything I’ve had to deal with I’ll admit I’ve done things wrong. And probably made some things harder for myself but with the life I’ve been given I believed at that time it was the right thing to do.
I was reduced to tears today because I just feel that this person is making me feel like nothing I do is good enough nothing I do is right. I can’t go somewhere to be made to feel like this. I have worked my arse off to feel better and I don’t want to get dragged back down again. I’ve got some great friendships and people have been so incredibly understanding and even the people I’ve only known for a few months have been great.
So I do things differently, so I’ve made mistakes. I am only human. People are so quick to judge me but they haven’t lived my life and they aren’t the ones trying to deal with things like I am.
I needed to get a good sleep at night and I needed to know my little boy was safe and to me that meant he slept in my bed and still does now. I still have anxiety issues I need to work on but it’s one more thing to overcome when he goes into his own room. Advice I can take on board criticism I can’t.
My worry about speaking out about this upsetting me is people thinking I’m being over sensitive because I suffer from depression. Feeling stupid because someone upset me over such stupid little things. But all those stupid little things add up and it plays in my mind and it gets to me. They don’t hear the comments I get about a one year old not crawling, they don’t see the judgemental looks I get when I say my one year old can’t crawl or the looks I get when my 5 year old struggles in a setting and he can’t express his emotions and gets frustrated. I wanted to speak someone so I did and she has known me a year now and has helped me through everything she’s not a friend but a professional person. She said she had no concerns at all over what I’m doing if she did she’s bold enough to say it to me.
I do feel stupid for ringing her but I needed to talk to someone about how I felt. I’m lucky that if I continue to feel the way I do that she will help me and get it resolved.
I don’t want to stop going places I get support from and a place where I did made 2 new friendships and helped an existing friendship become stronger but if she makes me feel like crap anymore I will just stop going.