The end of all that was bad. 

Yesterday marked the end of the year that has been the hardest year of my life. I never want to go through what we went through oth our youngest son ever again. There have been some good moments it hasn’t all been bad but it’s not been great. It’s been during this time I’ve learnt who said they were there for me and proved it. My friends and professional support have been amazing and incredibly supportive when my family weren’t. I’ve never needed anyone before like I’ve needed people this last year and I’m forever grateful to those who I cried down the phone to, late night tweeted my worries and fears to or chatted to to make me forget things for a while. 

The check up with the cardiologist went brilliantly I feared the worst for no reason as it turns out. My little superhero as I call him still has a residual VSD but in time it may just close itself up. 

Going to the hospital I felt extremely nervous, i felt sick and despite reassurance from friends thatmy little one would be fine I couldnt believe it until he had all his checks and his echo. The best possible news we could have been given is that he is doing brilliantly. My little fighter is just fine. He will obviously need follow up care for the rest of his life but I can deal with 1 day every year to go and get check ups. There are 364 other days where I can just enjoy my children and be a family that doesn’t have to worry about oxygen sats, echo’s and ecg’s.

It’s marked the end of the year from hell now it’s a fresh start our new beginning starting all the birthday celebrations today.


My little boy turned one he had no idea what was going on but we made it special for him. We needed it to be as proper celebration like he has been born again.


We helped him open all his presents and cards, then we took a cake to a baby play group where all his friends are and celebrated with them. We then came home and had a visit from my parents and some friends. As per usual family weren’t the ones making the day special it was my friends. They came up with their children to play and have cake. They made so much effort I’ll be forever grateful to them. These people are my “family” all of them. They got me through the tough times and have been there through the good times too. Along with the all the support I’ve had I’ll be forever grateful to these people because without it I wouldn’t be where I am now. I finally feel free of everything that’s weighted me down. I feel like a new person. The person i wanted to be for this special day. It’s a new beginning for my family and I can wait to start our new adventures and leave the past behind us. Yesterday I cried with relief with being given good news, today I have cried happy emotional tears. It’s my baby’s first ever birthday and I’ve created some wonderful new memories to replace the old.


 

Advertisements

Author: always over thinking things

I'm 32 years old,married and I'm a full time mum to 2 boys. My eldest is 5 and the youngest is a year old. My eldest boy is on the autistic spectrum and my youngest has a congenital heart defect called tetralogy of fallot. My blog is about my children, about me and my way of dealing with the life I've been given. It's a way of expressing my emotions and feelings through words. This is done anonymously as I want to keep myself away from people who don't know what's happening in my life.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s