Well today is the day before my beautiful baby boy turns 1, instead of prepping for his birthday I have to go to the hospital for him to have a check up with his cardiologist and paediatrician. I’m extremely nervous I feel so sick I’m hoping everything is ok I’m half sure it is but half of me says it’s not. I didn’t recognise any signs last time he was taken ill so there’s always that doubt on me. I really wish i wasn’t going alone but my other half is at work and my friend tried to help but couldn’t. I’m trying to stay strong show there’s nothing bothering me in front of the kids. I feel tears coming on through anxiety. I really hope that we get good news and that everything is ok. I really want and need to enjoy the little ones first ever birthday it will mark the end of a really tough year and we can start a fresh.