Hiding the hurt, hiding the pain

Hiding the tears that fall like rain

Saying I’m fine when I’m anything but

This ache in my soul that rips at my gut

My skin is on fire I burn from within

This calm on my face is an ongoing sin

The world must stay out I’ve built up a wall

My fragile world will collapse should it fall

Loneliness consumes me, it takes away years

Until my life is filled with unending fears

I’m waiting for someone to see I wear a mask and caring enough to to remove it

Is that too much to ask?

This was a few weeks back when I felt so low. I’m glad now that I don’t feel that way and the mask is no longer on.

Continuing with my positivity I’ve been having more time alone but feeling slightly guilty I guess it comes from not being used to it but the more I do it the better it will feel.

I haven’t dipped with my mood as of yet had a really good couple of weeks so the more I feel better the stronger I feel. I’m loving all the positive changes in me and I think now other people are noticing them too which can only be a good thing. Just a few weeks ago I couldn’t see me ever feeling like this again. I was in a very dark and very bad place in my head. I felt so lost and lonely. I felt like giving up and running away and I felt like I had failed. Now I’m feeling stronger and I have my fighting sprit back and now more then ever I feel like I’m ready to beat this, face my past and fight my demons. I can and will do this even though there’s a long road ahead I’m ready. I will come out of this even stronger and happier and able to move on.



Author: always over thinking things

I'm 33 years old,married and I'm a full time mum to 2 boys. My eldest is 6 and the youngest is a year old. My eldest boy is on the autistic spectrum and my youngest is 2 and has a congenital heart defect called tetralogy of fallot. My blog is about my children, about me and my way of dealing with the life I've been given. It's a way of expressing my emotions and feelings through words. This is done anonymously as I want to keep myself away from people who don't know what's happening in my life.

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